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During a visit to Harvard, Quagmire accidentally marries a prostitute; in an attempt to get out of his marriage, Quagmire pretends that Peter is his lover.
Brian loses confidence when he learns that Stewie has written a better play than he.
On Valentine's Day, Meg goes on a date with a guy she met online, and Lois and Pete stay in bed all day; Brian is visited by his ex-girlfriends.
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