Premise: All the news that's not fit for print -- or for that matter, the airwaves -- is reported on the ``Onion News Network,'' an offshoot of the news satire organization The Onion. The network claims to have more ``attack satellites'' than its competition, and ``no other channel has more secret surveillance cameras in homes, businesses and high-level government offices.'' Its flagship parody show is ``FactZone with Brooke Alvarez,'' which includes a media monitor segment that features Alvarez (as played by Suzanne Sena) pointing out the ``gross negligence'' of other news organizations.
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