The Bachelor

The Bachelor Recaps

• 'The Bachelor' recap: Rose Before Hos

  And now it's the one-hour payoff of broken hearts and spilled tears, also known as After the Final Rose! Chris Harrison comes out to tell...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: Swiss Cheese

  Chris Harrison calls this "the most controversial finale in Bachelor history," which can't possibly be true BEFORE THE F****** THING AIRS. Ben is on a...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: Bartha Barcy Ben Barlene

  So we've reached the point in the season where even my DVR is going, "No, seriously, dude, I can't even deal" and is actively refusing...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: Thank U 4 a Funky Time, Darling Nicki

  Tonight on The Bachelor: Ben Flahjjnqnésajn sleeps with three busted-up white girls, then picks which two were the best! I love the overnight dates --...

• 'The Bachelor': Kacie and the sunshine, banned

  Oh boy, it's the hometown dates episode! That's where the Bachelor visits the hometowns and families of the four women who are still standing in...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: I Belize in Miracles, You Sexy Thing

  A small propeller plane flies in over scenic waterfalls and ruins in Belize, and then Ben is touting the virtues of the island lifestyle in...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: There Is No Joy in Panama, Mighty Casey Has Struck Out

  Welcome to Panama City (which is in Panama, which makes sense). We get the cheesy airplane-flies-over-map graphic again, and then the women arrive at their...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: I've Got You Under My Skinny Dipping

  We're on lovely Vieques Island in Puerto Rico. I've recapped several seasons of this mess by now, and I think I've figured out how the...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: It's Raining, Ben. Hallelujah!

  So the first few few minutes of The Bachelor tonight were cut off because of a governor's speech, and when we join the women, they've...

• 'The Bachelor' recap: Shawntel? More like "Yawntel," amirite?

  Ben Flanimal and the brain-dead bachelorettes are descending on San Francisco, which is the kind of thing the Centers for Disease Control should probably issue...