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Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's freewheeling life hits a snag when his brother and young nephew move into his beachfront house.

Premiere:
Sep 22, 2003
Original Network:
CBS

Upcoming Episodes of 'Two and a Half Men'

Working for Caligula Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
Fri 11/20 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Fri 11/20 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Fri 11/20 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Jake has a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track; Alan finds himself stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Sat 11/21 2:00-2:30pm 36 WUHF
Prostitutes and Gelato Charlie and Alan must confront their ``daddy issues'' when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet.
Sat 11/21 2:30-3:00pm 36 WUHF
Sat 11/21 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Jake has a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track; Alan finds himself stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Sat 11/21 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Prostitutes and Gelato Charlie and Alan must confront their ``daddy issues'' when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet.
Sat 11/21 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.
Sat 11/21 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Jake has a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track; Alan finds himself stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Sun 11/22 5:00-5:30pm 23 KTLA
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
Sun 11/22 5:30-6:00pm 23 KTLA
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
Mon 11/23 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Who's Vod Kanockers? Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
Mon 11/23 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair NEW Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
Mon 11/23 6:00-6:31pm 35 WWJ
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
Mon 11/23 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Mon 11/23 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Who's Vod Kanockers? Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
Mon 11/23 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Mon 11/23 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Mon 11/23 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair NEW Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
Mon 11/23 9:00-9:31pm 8 KIRO
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
Tue 11/24 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Tue 11/24 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
Tue 11/24 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Tue 11/24 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Tue 11/24 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Tue 11/24 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Tue 11/24 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Baseball Was Better With Steroids When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
Wed 11/25 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
A Pot-Smoking Monkey After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Wed 11/25 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Baseball Was Better With Steroids When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
Wed 11/25 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Wed 11/25 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
A Pot-Smoking Monkey After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Wed 11/25 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Wed 11/25 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Wed 11/25 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Merry Thanksgiving In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa (Denise Richards) over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thu 11/26 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
Thu 11/26 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Merry Thanksgiving In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa (Denise Richards) over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thu 11/26 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Thu 11/26 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Herb (Ryan Stiles) and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith, so Alan and Charlie take action.
Thu 11/26 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Thu 11/26 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Thu 11/26 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
An Old Flame With a New Wick Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Fri 11/27 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Apologies for the Frivolity Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Fri 11/27 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
An Old Flame With a New Wick Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Fri 11/27 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Fri 11/27 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Apologies for the Frivolity Charlie does not realize that his latest girlfriend is a younger version of his mother.
Fri 11/27 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Fri 11/27 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Fri 11/27 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Media Room Slash Dungeon Charlie behaves strangely after an evening with his mother; Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) reacts oddly after making love.
Sat 11/28 2:00-2:30pm 36 WUHF
City of Great Racks Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
Sat 11/28 2:30-3:00pm 36 WUHF
Media Room Slash Dungeon Charlie behaves strangely after an evening with his mother; Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) reacts oddly after making love.
Sat 11/28 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
City of Great Racks Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
Sat 11/28 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Sat 11/28 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.
Sat 11/28 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Media Room Slash Dungeon Charlie behaves strangely after an evening with his mother; Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) reacts oddly after making love.
Sun 11/29 5:00-5:30pm 23 KTLA
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
Sun 11/29 5:30-6:00pm 23 KTLA
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Mon 11/30 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue); Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
Mon 11/30 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
My Son's Enormous Head Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick and he is forced to take care of her.
Mon 11/30 6:00-6:31pm 35 WWJ
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You Judith's sister (Teri Hatcher) hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party.
Mon 11/30 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Mon 11/30 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head Charlie helps Berta confront the man who impregnated her daughter (Sara Rue); Alan satisfies a secret fetish.
Mon 11/30 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Mon 11/30 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Mon 11/30 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
My Son's Enormous Head Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick and he is forced to take care of her.
Mon 11/30 9:00-9:31pm 8 KIRO
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Tue 12/1 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Release the Dogs Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Tue 12/1 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Tue 12/1 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Tue 12/1 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Release the Dogs Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Tue 12/1 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Tue 12/1 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Tue 12/1 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
No Sniffing, No Wowing Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
Wed 12/2 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Wed 12/2 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
No Sniffing, No Wowing Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
Wed 12/2 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Wed 12/2 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Wed 12/2 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Wed 12/2 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Wed 12/2 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Thu 12/3 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Kissing Abraham Lincoln Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
Thu 12/3 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Thu 12/3 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Thu 12/3 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Kissing Abraham Lincoln Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
Thu 12/3 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Thu 12/3 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU
Thu 12/3 8:00-8:35pm 35 WWJ
Just Like Buffalo Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Fri 12/4 4:00-4:30pm 36 WUHF
Castrating Sheep in Montana Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
Fri 12/4 4:30-5:00pm 36 WUHF
Just Like Buffalo Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Fri 12/4 7:00-7:30pm 23 KTLA
Fri 12/4 7:00-7:30pm 31 KAYU
Castrating Sheep in Montana Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter (Sara Rue).
Fri 12/4 7:30-8:00pm 23 KTLA
Fri 12/4 7:30-8:00pm 31 KAYU

Cast of 'Two and a Half Men'

  • Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper
  • Jon Cryer as Alan Harper
  • Angus T. Jones as Jake Harper
  • Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper
  • Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper
  • Conchata Ferrell as Berta